[Trust is even harder these days, after everything. They know-- After all, Thomas has been more quiet than usual. He keeps to himself most of the time, speaking only when he is prompted, looking away when he is not. His mind is a mess; of questions, of doubt, of guilt. There's something he wants to do, his drive as strong as ever, yet sometimes he wonders if this is the way to go about it.
He doesn't want to watch anyone else die. He doesn't want to lose anymore of his friends. When he set his mind on making this journey, he had thought he would be traveling alone, he hadn't meant for anyone to come with him - He wouldn't dare asking.
And now here they are, and he isn't alone - and he is thankful for that - but still he worries if this decision won't end with him having to lose more people. With him having to watch them all fall from around him.
A week or so ago, he had been ready to push that button, to erase them all from existence-- Together, they had said, standing around him, and it brought Newt's words back into his mind, from when they were at the Glade. 'The most important thing is that we all have each other, because we're all in this together.' That was what gave him strength, what he clung to, when doubt flooded his mind.
He was in this to save Minho. He was in this to save every single one of his friends, to save everyone else like them, to save himself. To kill Ava Paige. And if they were here with him was because they believed him, because they believed it was possible. It was their decision, they would say. And Thomas could only hope that once it was all said and done, that they would still be there and his heart wouldn't be empty with the thought that he made them do it. He convinced them it was possible. He is to blame. It's all his fault.
'Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope killed more of my friends than the Flare and the Scorch combined.'
It's Brenda's words echoing in his mind, now, and he has to shake his head to will them away, thankful for the movement, next to him. It wakes him from his thoughts as he watches Tris try to stay warm, her question taking him a moment to fully process.
He gives her a small smile, first, before looking at the ground again, playing with a little stone he caught from it, drawing over the dirt.]
Aris was the one looking out for us. [He starts, voice quiet.] If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here right now.
[That she doesn't ask or even mention a plan is incredibly relieving. He doesn't need the reminder of that added weight on his shoulders (and mind) right now.]
sounds perfect
He doesn't want to watch anyone else die. He doesn't want to lose anymore of his friends. When he set his mind on making this journey, he had thought he would be traveling alone, he hadn't meant for anyone to come with him - He wouldn't dare asking.
And now here they are, and he isn't alone - and he is thankful for that - but still he worries if this decision won't end with him having to lose more people. With him having to watch them all fall from around him.
A week or so ago, he had been ready to push that button, to erase them all from existence-- Together, they had said, standing around him, and it brought Newt's words back into his mind, from when they were at the Glade. 'The most important thing is that we all have each other, because we're all in this together.' That was what gave him strength, what he clung to, when doubt flooded his mind.
He was in this to save Minho. He was in this to save every single one of his friends, to save everyone else like them, to save himself. To kill Ava Paige. And if they were here with him was because they believed him, because they believed it was possible. It was their decision, they would say. And Thomas could only hope that once it was all said and done, that they would still be there and his heart wouldn't be empty with the thought that he made them do it. He convinced them it was possible. He is to blame. It's all his fault.
'Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope killed more of my friends than the Flare and the Scorch combined.'
It's Brenda's words echoing in his mind, now, and he has to shake his head to will them away, thankful for the movement, next to him. It wakes him from his thoughts as he watches Tris try to stay warm, her question taking him a moment to fully process.
He gives her a small smile, first, before looking at the ground again, playing with a little stone he caught from it, drawing over the dirt.]
Aris was the one looking out for us. [He starts, voice quiet.] If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here right now.
[That she doesn't ask or even mention a plan is incredibly relieving. He doesn't need the reminder of that added weight on his shoulders (and mind) right now.]