[It's hard to even think of going back to life as normal, after the battle. Even normal by their standards - Jace isn't sure what to expect when they go back to the Institute. How is anything going to be the same again? He supposes there are some things he's happy have changed. Very.
Sleeping, that's still hard. In his mind he keeps tripping backwards into the black void of the certaity that he had died, or back into his fight with Sebastian- with Jonathan. Dream after dream, nightmare after nightmare. It's only a matter of time before he gives up and climbs out of bed, shirt stuck to his skin. He assures Alec with a few quiet words and slinks downstairs, not sure what he's looking for. Knowing what he'd like to look for, though, or rather who.]
( there isn't really much of normal left. not for clary, anyway. everything she knew about the world she lived in has been ripped out from under her, origami'd into something new and freakish, put through a shredder, and colored on with an angry child's favorite broken red crayon. it's difficult for her to sleep much anymore. she used to love sleep so much; revel in the way the pillows felt when she opened her eyes and it wasn't quite daylight, when she knew she could roll over and go back to sleep for awhile longer. not now. the time for sleeping in and lazing around has passed. late night naruto marathons with simon and terrible sleeping habits and going to chinatown just to watch him pale in comparison to the rest of the crowd on the ddr machine, gone. everything she knew, gone.
nightmares happen sometimes. not that she can do much about them, but she wishes they'd just give her one night. one full eight hour cycle of sleep would be great. tonight is one of the nights where she curses her inability to control her psyche, the futile efforts she makes to pretend like her mind is a sketchbook and she can draw a story to play out as she dreams. she gets up and pads down the stairs drowsily, groggy and grouchy and in desperate need of coffee, not too long before jace comes down. she sits at the table idly swirling her finger in a cup still too hot to lift for drinking, slumped over with her cheek resting in one hand, smashed up and making her eye little more than a squint.
she hears him, which is a feat in and of itself because jace is basically a cat, and lifts her head slightly. her gaze turns toward him, and a soft, sad sort of smile flickers over her features. )
[You, me, probably the whole city, the rest just haven't given up yet, he might say. It crosses his mind. Instead he settles for,]
Yeah,
[and waffles where he stands, eyes lingering. Taking in her sitting in the near-complete dark and the smell of coffee in the room, and the way even the tumble of her hair looks tired, a small smile steals onto his face despite the circumstances. His sleepy brain is still trying to gauge if she'll be okay with him sitting right next to her when he kicks himself because if he stands there any longer the waffling is definitely going to show.
So he runs a hand through his hair and pads the rest of the way over to her, sitting down with a sigh. Just being close to Clary like he thought he never would be, even in as simple a way as this makes all the difference. A weight off his shoulders. For a moment, he lets his eyes close again.]
Not even dreams, just... just memories.
[And for a wonder, he doesn't deflect or brush it off or find something to joke about immediately. Just leaves it.]
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dat image flawless tho
why don't you share it with me?
and we'll just wait and see
if it's half what it used to be
no subject
He supposes there are some things he's happy have changed. Very.
Sleeping, that's still hard. In his mind he keeps tripping backwards into the black void of the certaity that he had died, or back into his fight with Sebastian- with Jonathan. Dream after dream, nightmare after nightmare. It's only a matter of time before he gives up and climbs out of bed, shirt stuck to his skin. He assures Alec with a few quiet words and slinks downstairs, not sure what he's looking for. Knowing what he'd like to look for, though, or rather who.]
no subject
nightmares happen sometimes. not that she can do much about them, but she wishes they'd just give her one night. one full eight hour cycle of sleep would be great. tonight is one of the nights where she curses her inability to control her psyche, the futile efforts she makes to pretend like her mind is a sketchbook and she can draw a story to play out as she dreams. she gets up and pads down the stairs drowsily, groggy and grouchy and in desperate need of coffee, not too long before jace comes down. she sits at the table idly swirling her finger in a cup still too hot to lift for drinking, slumped over with her cheek resting in one hand, smashed up and making her eye little more than a squint.
she hears him, which is a feat in and of itself because jace is basically a cat, and lifts her head slightly. her gaze turns toward him, and a soft, sad sort of smile flickers over her features. )
You too, huh.
no subject
Yeah,
[and waffles where he stands, eyes lingering. Taking in her sitting in the near-complete dark and the smell of coffee in the room, and the way even the tumble of her hair looks tired, a small smile steals onto his face despite the circumstances. His sleepy brain is still trying to gauge if she'll be okay with him sitting right next to her when he kicks himself because if he stands there any longer the waffling is definitely going to show.
So he runs a hand through his hair and pads the rest of the way over to her, sitting down with a sigh. Just being close to Clary like he thought he never would be, even in as simple a way as this makes all the difference. A weight off his shoulders. For a moment, he lets his eyes close again.]
Not even dreams, just... just memories.
[And for a wonder, he doesn't deflect or brush it off or find something to joke about immediately. Just leaves it.]