nestbox | | dæmonverse au for practicedhands

[Chesed gives Cain a look. She's not sure he can see her, but she's curious either way. After a moment, seeing Elle falter, she walks back over to Joshua and lays down by his side, his hand naturally shifting to her short fur. And if there's barely any feeling left in his fingertips, he just has to be especially careful. This is just about contact - he may not like to remind himself of the things he's seen but it's necessary. The reason he knows what a person's like when they've been broken, to the point where they can only be put together different, is because it's something he's inflicted upon them.

Why did he pick her? He didn't really think twice about it at the time.

She's not scared, he thinks, not of me.

Chesed doesn't move a muscle to answer. It would be a shame if she was.

But that doesn't answer her question. He's not sure how to, because that choice was part instinct and part inspiration and part having no other choice, and neither of these seem like they would be enough. He'll put the reasons into words as clearly as he can, as honestly as is possible.]

Because you have the luxury of being somewhat removed from this particular issue. Its resolution does not affect you like it will the people of Zion in the long term, so you stand the best chance of making an impartial decision. And as much as I might hope that you will see matters my way, I ... [he falters.]

... Daniel and I cannot resolve this on our own.

[As well as they can work together when they agree on a course of action, they're too thoroughly at odds in this. Perhaps it's a surprise that the man who was the Malpais Legate will stop in his tracks over someone disagreeing with him, but he isn't that anymore. He won't ever be that again.]

I understand why he has reservations about what I propose, of course.

[History speaks for itself.]

[Cain listens as the dog dæmon retreats. She's returning to her human. It's a shame, but he understands. He can't leave Elle right now for similar enough reasons.

Elle, he knows, isn't going to be able to let that be. And she speaks up just like he knows she's going to.]

Maybe... it won't affect me, but I... I mean, I understand what... you're saying, but I almost feel like... That's what -- That's why maybe I... I mean, it's not gonna affect me. I don't have the connection to these people, the people who are going to be affected, I don't... I don't know them, I don't know their values, their history, their language, I -- To make this kind of decision, to be responsible for these people, I... Maybe I can be impartial, but I -- I don't feel... qualified.

[She doesn't even feel qualified to make the decision she has to make for the Mojave.]

And I... The fact that you're -- trusting me with this, something so important, when you don't know... You didn't know -- hardly anything about me, I mean, I... Impartial is one thing, but you didn't know if I'd... care enough to really... put thought into it.

[Qualified. Joshua nearly scoffs at the term. The way he's lived his life, it doesn't mean anything at all. You're given choices, and you make them, whether you like them or not, whether you feel you can or not. Choice, agency, is all anyone has. He cocks his head.]

And you trust me, despite knowing.

[She might not know the details, but she knows who he was. So?]

[Cain, much to Elle's surprise, snorts with laughter. As if she wasn't already starting to blush because of that point... She shushes him quickly.]

I... I just... [... dammit. He has a point. She knows it, and Cain knows it, and Cain still thinks it's funny. Elle would give in and agree with him if she didn't feel unsettled for some reason. Like... like she's missing a piece of... of -- She doesn't know what.

I don't know, either, Cain tells her. But how much does it matter? That's his answer. I told you.

There's a part of her that still wants to argue. But she does know, know who he used to be, but she's seen, in some ways, who he's trying to be. She's seen it in the admiration of the tribes. She's seen it when she talked to Daniel. And he -- The most he'd seen was her willingness to help. But she's getting something out of it, too. She'd help even if she wasn't, but...

... but, it's like Cain said. There's no point. No point except to be self-defeating. Elle looks down at Cain, and he looks up at her, and she caves.]

... yeah, [she finally says, sighing. It's just as much to Cain as it is to Joshua.] Okay. ... I get it.

[I have a good feeling about him, Cain tells her confidently.

But is that what it is for him, too? Or is it just because he doesn't have any other options?]

[Chesed's ears perk up as Cain laughs. Joshua meanwhile merely nods. It's a discussion that seems pointless and that he sees no reason to prolong - this is much better.]

There are things you wanted to ask me.

[One would think she's talked enough about things that are hurtful to her that she might think it fair to ask him in turn. And he can see that there is fairness to it, too. Her actions weigh heavy in a different way, and her wounds are fresher than his, but in the end, life is a time of Trial for each person according to the Lord's will.]

[Elle manages a weak laugh.] Right. Right, yeah...

[Time to take the focus off of herself. ... she just needs to pick a place to start.

Elle mulls over her choices thoughtfully for a moment before finally settling on one.]

New Canaan... That's the place you're from, right? Where is it? What's it like?

[Though inaudibly, Joshua takes a deep breath. Chesed rubs her head against his leg, because she can feel his pain, and not just the physical kind. His last memories of New Canaan... too many dead. How quickly he’d fallen back into leading people, slipped back on the commanding tone. It hurt him to think back on the terror he’d brought down on them, that they were subject to it because of the charity they’d extended to him.

But that isn’t what the question was.]

New Canaan, or what remains of it, is a good distance to the North, not far from the Great Salt Lake, and with a mountain range to the East. Many of the pre-war buildings were kept in good shape, and where we could not do that, we built anew in their place. It was peaceful and full of life. Perhaps one of our greatest treasures were our books. We had a printing press we’d managed to restore to working order. We kept peaceful relations to all tribes in the area with whom it was possible, and caravans travelled some distance to come to us. Though most who lived in New Canaan were of our tribe, we extended our hospitalities to those who were not, and welcomed any who wished to stay.

[He pauses. It doesn’t occur to him to perhaps leave it at that, and he doesn’t entirely keep the anger out of his tone, either. ]

But the White Legs descended on us in numbers, slaughtering anyone who did not run fast enough. The children, the elderly. Any who stopped to help the wounded. We fled. I do not know what has become of the city, but it won’t be much different from any other place in the wasteland now.

[He stares hard into the flames.]

[It is... true, that the first part of that was what Elle had been hoping for. She knows that there are people who will remember New Canaan, knows there are survivors who will keep the memory of the place alive, who will not forget the good times, but... She always... wants to help, in things like that. Even if it's just a little bit. But... Considering how relatively recent the attack was, it... It isn't surprising that the good memories immediately lead... into bad ones.

Details like that, about the attack... She heard about them, more about them, from Daniel earlier. Elle stares down at the ground. Cain is listening intently for movements from Joshua's dæmon.]

I'm sorry, [she says softly. She inhales deeply and makes herself look back up at him. It doesn't really matter that much, though; he isn't looking at her. There isn't much doubt in her mind that he's... remembering.]

Did you guys... Have you found somewhere decent for shelter? Do you know... if there's somewhere you guys can go to rebuild? Waking Cloud... told me how hard it'd be for things to grow, so I know... going back and rebuilding there... isn't really much of an option...

[He nods, and has pulled himself together enough to look at her again. Chesed has shifted again to sit instead of lie down. She's feeling her human's restlessness, and he refuses to do anything about it, choosing instead to tense. It's not a good thing if he has nothing to do with his hands. She Stretches, deciding the topic is safe enough to talk about.]

We have found and made a new home. You do not need to worry. This isn't the first time my tribe has faced pointless persecution. We will endure, and try again.

[Cain lets go of Elle so he can settle down comfortably on her non-Pip-Boy arm. His ears are up and forward, aimed in the direction of the dog dæmon.]

I'm sorry, [she says on reflex in response to how his tribe has repeatedly suffered. But she catches herself as soon as the words fall out of her mouth and she ducks her head a little, embarrassed. That's not what she should be saying here.] I... I'm. I'm glad that... your tribe's going to be okay. That you have a new place to build a home.

[Ask them what her name is, Cain tells her.

What?

His dæmon.

N-No, I'm not going to... Don't be nosy, Elle scolds him. If they want to tell us, then they can tell us.

After a couple of beats of silence, Elle tilts her head, having thought of something else to ask.] When I talked to Daniel earlier... He gave me -- scripture. I haven't really had the chance to read it, yet, but... I'd -- I'd like to learn. About... all this stuff you guys have been talking about. With the praying, and everything...

["With the praying, and everything," Cain echoes back, accompanied by a small gesture that is the equivalent of a bat raising an eyebrow.

Oh, leave me alone, Elle grumbles.]

[Well that's new, Chesed remarks.

I know. I can't say I expected this.

Ever, huh.

...

Chesed looks over at the other pair curiously. She's still shifting because of their shared restlessness, but she can tell the courier's dæmon is paying as much attention as she is. These days, Joshua is more war chief than he is missionary, but he welcomes the chance to talk about his faith. "The more you teach, the more you'll learn," his bishop said to him a long, long time ago. It still holds true.

Start at the beginning. ]

We believe that all people and their dæmons were created by God. Before we are born, we live with Him as spirits. Because He made us, we call him Father, and because we are all His children, we often refer to one another as brothers and sisters. It's important for us to pray often, because that is our way to talk to our Father. We express gratitude for the things we recieve, ask for forgiveness for the wrongs we've done, and strengthen our connection with our dæmons.

| dæmonverse au for practicedhands

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject